I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
