His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
