Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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