I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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