Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
