Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
