My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
