i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
