so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
