Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
