Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
