So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
