it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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