is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
