I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
