I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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