oh god the rape fog is back!
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
