What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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