I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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