at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
