The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
