doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
