i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
