This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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