I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Send help, water and tortillas.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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