i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
