i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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