i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
