Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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