My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
