i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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