Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
