Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
