thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize