I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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