What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
