elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
