if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
