I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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