I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
