brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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