Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
