Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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