john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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