you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
