When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
