eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
