Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was like having sex with a tree stump
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
