I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
