Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
