I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I pour the whiskey from now on
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
