I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize