You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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