She said her name was "party"
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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