one two three fourrrrnication!
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
