I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
