open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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