A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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