I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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