This girl is more easily done than said...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
