Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My ass is underappreciated
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
