Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
