So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
