Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
