i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
We had to coat check the pizza.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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