hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize