i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
