sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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